The Great Princess Debate

I just assume that I am amazing and that every one agrees with me and if they do not - well something must be wrong with them.  To each their own, but seriously - mine is better.  I just have gone about life with the proverbial fingers in my ears, hearing but not really listening to the dull hum around me.

Until I had daughters.  When I found out that I was having a girl when my son was 10 I bought everything pink.  EVERYTHING. 

That's not really true there were some purple things.

After finding out I was having a second daughter 18 months behind the first I was relieved.  I had no idea what a little boy was going to wear.  I had ONE sleeper that was white, with a bunny on it.  Even though my husband is color-blind I didn't think I could pull off dressing little guy in pink since the girls have two older brothers.  The stork was good to me.

On it goes the last almost 6 years with the dolls, dress up clothes, tiaras, and Barbies.  LOTS of Barbies. Animal print is our friend.  I did add some blue finally to the mix.  Tiffany blue.

Here and there some parents that I respect just flat out said that they would never could never encourage their daughters to be princesses. They were somewhat horrified by all things princess.  I thought maybe they had some terrible glitter incident when they were younger they were repressing.

Then came the book. And articles. And bloggers. And talk shows. I hate it when people think I am wrong and then they have a source to quote.  It spread like wildfire. Everyone was talking about it. It was degrading, sexist, limiting and anti-feminist.  They didn't say exactly those words, but when I pulled my fingers out of my ears finally that is what I heard.

PRINCESSES ARE BAD.

I had to sit down.  I read the articles, I tried to listen.  Really I did.  I was definitely taken aback since I had themed my oldest daughter's birthday party as High Tea.  FOR SOON-TO-BE PRINCESS KATE.  Oh, no.  What was I doing to my girls?

I wasn't "doing" anything to them.  So they dressed in ball gowns.  My youngest one actually had to get stitches after falling on a plastic - gasp - Cinderella slipper.  Clearly she is one tough princess since nary a tear was shed while she was strapped down and they sewed up her little cheek.  Would it have been better if she had fallen off of her John Deer truck and hurt herself?  How about if she was Occupying Wall Street?  And since we are getting political (oh we weren't?) Republicans have Tea Parties too.

They are aware that they are not going to BE princesses because they wear the clothes.  I am not going to be a size 4 since I wear double Spanx.  But we can dream.  Off comes the clothes (and/or the Spanx) and we are back to our normal lives.  My girls do not live in a fairytale, they live in the real world with fabulous play clothes.

My girls are fine, actually - my girls are FANTASTIC.  They can be princesses all day if they want.  For Halloween they chose to be Bat Girl and a Pirate...with sparkles.

Maybe the difference is that I speak to my children, have conversations with them.  They are aware, at 4 & 5.5 what is expected of them, what we as a family believe in and that they have to work hard, tell the truth, use their manners and be respectful. 

If they do all that in a tiara and you don't like it - you may not want your children to play with mine. They may come home covered in glitter and and imaginary crumpet crumbs, and then you would quote the book and then we would argue and it would be an ugly mess.

A Royal Mess.

~That One Mom